Buckle Your Seatbelts...

First of all, sorry for the lack of blogging lately. It's been a crazy start to the year for us. Allow us to fill you in...

A couple of months ago, we received a message from Laura's doctor telling us about one of her patients who was pregnant and wished to make an adoption plan for the baby. Knowing our desire to have children, the doctor thought of us along with a couple of other families. The information we were given at the time was sparse, but this would apparently be a semi-open adoption and handled through private attorneys. To be honest, this was a road that we never really saw ourselves traveling... So we were hesitant, but decided to let the doctor give our names to a mediator who would help facilitate the adoption.

Weeks passed and we didn't hear anything, so we basically wrote it off in our minds. Then, suddenly... in the midst of the holiday calm we received another call to see if we were still interested in considering and being considered for this adoption. After a little prodding, we agreed to at least meet with the birthmom. We decided to treat it as a "testing the waters" experience. This would be a somewhat awkward meeting for obvious reasons... But despite our fears, it went relatively well and we came away feeling a lot different than we expected.

The next morning we received a call from the mediator and, to our bewilderment, were told that the birthmom had chosen us to be the adoptive family. (Gulp!) Obviously, we were overwhelmed by the unexpectedness of ALL of this. It would be hard not to appreciate the rareness of this opportunity and the way it seemed to be coming together... and yet we had serious concerns about the circumstances that would surround the adoption. Nonetheless, we suddenly found ourselves with the ball in our court. "What do we do now??"

Along with the details of the days that followed, we'll also spare you any more suspense... This child will not be ours.

So.. back to the story...

To say the least, this was a decision that caused us a lot of turmoil (some of you, no doubt, with tiny grins right now thinking about our struggles with even the smallest decisions). What an amazing opportunity to bring a child into our family much earlier than we anticipated, and better yet it wouldn't interfere with our China adoption. On the other hand, our instincts about the scenario continued to keep us grounded.

Oh, a minor detail we haven't mentioned yet... this baby was possibly only DAYS away from being born. (Gulp! again) Obviously this added to the pressure of our decision, but we knew it was possible and that friends and family would rally to help us overcome the extreme time crunch. The question remained... Was this God's will?

We prayerfully considered adopting this child (and were coming much closer than we ever imagined in the beginning)... We decided to move forward with it and even sought legal council to see what the risks were and what needed to happen to make it all work. We leaned upon friends and family to help us talk through this heavy decision, and make sure we carefully considered all of the matters involved in the situation. We proceeded with "cautious optimism", but as things progressed and more concerns cropped up it started to become clear that, for us, it wasn't meant to be.

It brought us comfort to know that the birthmom also felt very strongly about one of the other families she had met with, and we have reason to believe they might be more prepared to handle the present circumstances...

So... the last few weeks have been a roller coaster of a ride. After our final decision was made, we experienced disappointment and sadness that it didn't work out. We realize it might be hard for some to understand how we could turn away from something that seemed to fall into our laps... Could it have worked despite our reservations? We'll never know the answer to that, but now that we're back on solid ground and free from the stress and emotional intensity of the situation.. we feel that we made the right decision - for everyone. In the end, we had to go with the instincts that God gave us. Our time will come.

So, why did this happen? What did it all mean? We may not know the complete answer to that right away, but we've learned so much for having gone through this. It has been a faith building experience. And even though we're very anxious to become parents, it has given us a greater appreciation for what we do have and we realize now more than ever how blessed we are to have people in our lives who will love us and support us no matter what.

What a year... and it's only mid-January.

Goin' to Kansas City...

Kansas City, here we come. We're heading out in the morning to KC for the weekend. We scheduled our fingerprint renewal appointment for Monday (the 31st), so we thought we'd make a weekend of it!

Hope you all have a Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Thanks!

A couple weeks ago my friend Marlana threw me a "Renew Your Enthusiasm" shower at Mille's. I was able to catch up with a group of girls I went to high school with and it was so much fun! Thanks girls for a great time and some great presents that did help lift our spirits as we continue to wait for Anna. Here is a picture of the thoughtful gifts everyone gave us:

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Follow-up

Good news regarding the story we shared in the last post. This is taken from the website of their agency:

Bethany Christian Services are pleased to announce the Sheldon family has received their visas and are returning home from China this weekend. “We will continue to work with the family to make sure all their needs are met,” said John VanValkenburg, Public Relations Specialist for Bethany Christian Services. “This has been a difficult situation for the Sheldon family and Bethany would like to thank everyone for their prayers and support for this family, including the efforts of Michigan Congressmen, Vern Ehlers and Mike Rogers.”

Due to these special circumstances, Bethany is accepting contributions to support the family until December 31, 2007. Checks can be made payable to Bethany Christian Services and please indicate the Sheldon family on the memo line. Checks can be sent to Bethany's Donor Records at 901 Eastern Ave NE, PO Box 294 Grand Rapids Michigan 49501. Bethany Christian Services will give all donations to the family for their “Hope for Hannah” fund.

Help needed for a family in China

I'm posting this from another blog:

Earlier this week I came to you asking for prayer for a fellow adoptive mom in China now picking up her daughter. Her husband had been traveling with her and died suddenly due to complications of his diabetes. I just received the following information from a family traveling with them in China and we need all the help we can get to bring this mom and baby home. Here is the message...

The US Consulate in Guangzhou has denied Sandi Sheldon permission to proceed with the adoption of Hannah. They want her to fill out a new I-171 and are making no guarantees after that. Sandi, of course does not want to leave China and leave Hannah here because she has no where to go. Sandi needs our help desperately! Please start a massive campaign of calling to her US Congressman and US Senator and urge them to intervene on Sandi's behalf. We have discussed this with Sandi and she wants our help. Please pressure these elected officials to contact the State Department and straighten this out. Sandi should not be denied Hannah's adoption because her husband passed away unexpectedly. The adoption has been finalized here in China. Sandi's congressman is Mike Rogers. His Washington office number is 202 225 4872. His Michigan office number is 517 702 8000, he also has a toll free number 1-877-333-MIKE. Sandi's US Senator is Debbie Stabenow. Her Washington DC number is 202 224 4822 and her Michigan office number is 517 203 1760.

Please call the numbers listed if you can and say a prayer for this family. Thank you!

***UPDATE: Apparently the U.S. reps office has received over 1000 calls and is working on this situation, also Sec. of State Rice's office has been contacted and is well aware of the situation. This family is thanking everyone for their phone calls and is now asking them to stop so these offices can focus on addressing the issue.

Paperwork...again....

Well our I-171H is going to expire soon, so we got a packet in the mail from our agency reminding us to renew it. For anyone out there that may have forgotten - the I-171H is the piece of paper issued by the US Immigration Department when you file your I600A that gives you advanced permission to bring a foreign child into the US as an immediate relative. Unfortunately it is only valid for 18 months and ours is set to expire in January. So off we go again with the paperchase. According to the checklist from our agency, this renewal process will include getting our homestudy updated (which will probably include more paper-gathering), getting re-fingerprinted, and taking another trip to K.C. to file it all. Think we'll make a weekend of it this time!

The good news is that despite the fact that the USCIS recently raised rates on just about every immigration application out there, including the I-600A to 750.00, they have allowed for 1 free extension if you already filed an I-600A. So, except for the fee to update our homestudy, we won't have to pay for our renewed I-171H. Now we just have to hope we won't have to do it again in another 18 months!!

August is out of review!!

This means we are for sure in the review room! Prayers that our paperwork gets through review without having to redo anything. This is a case where "no news is good news" and hopefully the only thing we'll hear is when the CCAA updates their website saying that they have finished review of Sept. 2006 LIDs...hopefully in the next month or so!!

Have a great weekend!!

Happy Belated Moon Festival!

Oops, yesterday was the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival...and we sort of forgot, guess you could say we weren't feeling quite as "moony" as we were last October. This time last year we celebrated with our moms by enjoying some good Chinese food and some not-so-good mooncakes. We'll mark our calendars for next year and go with moon pies instead of mooncakes!!!

We're both on vacation this week and just enjoying some downtime! We went to a matinee yesterday and saw 3:10 to Yuma - it was really good! Basically we're just doing a whole lot of nothin' and loving every minute of it!!

Ni Hao, Kai-lan

This fall, Nickelodeon is going to air a new show featuring a Chinese American little girl named Kai-lan. The half hour show will be interactive for preschoolers, giving them the opportunity to learn Mandarin words and phrases as well as aspects of Chinese culture. Kai-Lan will also help children to identify emotions and coping mechanisms to deal with their feelings.

The show's executive producer said she "hoped the series would have a special resonance for the estimated 60,000 girls in the United States who have been adopted from Chinese orphanages." And the 10-year-old girl Jade-Lianna Peters , who is the voice of Kai-lan on the series, was herself adopted from China.

We can't wait to tune in!

p.s. - Ni Hao means "hello".

Just Survivin'

We just heard that the next season of Survivor will be in China! We haven't watched in a few years, but will have to catch the upcoming Fall season for sure!

We are headed out of town for the weekend... have a good one!

Long time, no blog!

Ni Hao (hello)

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately...yes, we're still alive. Between the craziness of the ice storm and Laura's grandma breaking her hip, we've been pretty busy.

Not much new in the adoption world right now, the next group of referrals should be arriving in the next week or so and we'll be able to tell if the wait time has gone up or stayed the same (or, dare I say, gone down).

Remember the cute twin girls we posted a video of a couple months ago (the ones singing "The Wheels on the Bus")? Well, here is another cute video of them, this time showing off their dance moves - a couple of them resembling Elaine from Seinfeld...





Hope this brings you a little mid-week cheer.



(love), Greg and Laura

Please, Paula, just leave it alone...

Sorry for the delayed response...Laura's grandma took a spill and is in the hospital with a broken hip.

Well, Paula Zahn's second attempt wasn't much better. A clearly nervous and uncomfortable Paula began the show talking about the thousands of emails they had received from the previous show. The program started off great with David Youtz, president of the Greater New York Chapter of Families With Children From China, speaking on behalf of the adoption community. He and his wife have adopted four daughters from China, including triplets.

After David's part of the segment, two of the "stooges" from the last show once again made an appearance...this is where we wished we would have just stopped watching. One of them actually admitted he was wrong, however, Roland Martin continued to spew the same venom as the previous show and, of course, made sure he got in the last word. If you would like to read the transcripts, click here (you'll find it at the very top this time).

While at first we were glad CNN tried to re-address the fiasco that was caused last Friday, they have now dropped the ball, not once, but twice. We sent them another letter basically stating that it might be best if they just leave the topic of international and domestic adoption alone since clearly, they aren't capable of getting it right.

Unfortunately we've just heard that Paula will be airing yet another segment tonight. Here's the summary as listed on her website: She's a proud parent now, but if she wanted to do it again, she couldn't. Will strict overseas adoption standards rule you out too? Tune in Thursday at 8 p.m. ET on "Paula Zahn Now."

We've decided not to watch... we're ready to move on to better things.

Paula Zahn and the Three Stooges

Did any of you happen to watch the Paula Zahn Now show on CNN last Friday night (1/5/07)? We had heard they were going to be talking about China's new adoption guidelines, so we decided to tune in. It seemed to start off well, talking about the new regulations and how China is concerned about doing what is best for the children (as we've mentioned in previous posts).

Paula was then joined by a panel of "experts" to engage in a round table discussion about the new guidelines... or so it seemed. The discussion quickly turned ugly as the focus moved away from the changes being made by the CCAA and into the territory of "what's the big deal with Chinese children?" We couldn't believe our ears as we listened to these people arrogantly try to speculate as to why so many people choose to adopt from China. Basically what they were insinuating was that by adopting from China people think they will have children that are more lovable, like little porcelain dolls, and will be more intelligent, one day growing up to be doctors. These were their words.

Hard to believe anyone could say something so ignorant? Check it out for yourselves... Below is a clip of the part of the segment where Ms. Zahn and her "three stooges" panel weighed in on their opinions (you might have to click the play button twice). If you'd like to read the actual transcripts, click here and scroll about two-thirds of the way down.




Obviously this created quite an uproar in the Chinese adoption community. As soon as we finished watching, we started composing a letter that we ended up e-mailing to many CNN execs. along with all of the members of the panel. Click here if you would like to read what our letter said.

Fast forward to today (Monday) afternoon... we just found out through one of the online adoption forums that Paula Zahn will be doing a follow-up segment about last Friday's show tonight at 7:00pm central. Apparently CNN has received so many emails about this they've decided to re-address the issue tonight and have even been so kind as to invite an adoption professional to speak this time (Are you all picking up on the sarcasm?? Because we're laying it on pretty thick!). Hopefully there will be more accurate and appropriate information presented this time along with less racism and stereotyping. We'll see how well CNN can backpedal...

Greg & Laura

News Flash!!

The December group of referrals have arrived and according to this info box from the CCAA website, the LID cut-off for this group was September 27, 2005. For those who don't remember, our LID is September 12, 2006. So, as you can see, we're now up to about a 15 month wait.

In other news, many of you have probably heard the reports regarding the new eligibility regulations to adopt from China. We found out that these won't go into effect until May 1, 2007 and received confirmation that we will be grandfathered in since we were logged in prior to this date. Basically these new regulations are much stricter on things like the health of the adoptive parents, age of parents, length of marriage, education, finances, criminal background, and singles are now ineligilble. While this might make it harder for some people to adopt from China in the future, people should keep in mind that the CCAA is trying only to think of the children, making sure that they're placed in the best possible homes.

To end on a more positive note, we have added a new link in the sidebar called "Words of Inspiration" with some of our favorite Bible verses, poems and other writings that we've come across. We'll continue to build on this collection, so check it out from time to time.

Take care, everybody!

Lucky Bugs

We thought this might be a good time to explain the significance of ladybugs in Chinese adoption. Ladybugs are considered to be a symbol of good luck in the adoption community. The story goes something like this: Many years ago in China, as the international adoption program was beginning to take off, there was a fall season where the ladybug population grew unusually large. This was thought to be a lucky charm for those who were adopting, so now whenever ladybugs are seen, it is said that more beautiful children are being referred to waiting parents and families.

As we were gathering our paperwork this spring, we started noticing a curious number of ladybugs everytime we were outside (not just our imagination). I'm sure scientists have a perfectly "scientific" explanation for it, but we choose to think of it as a sign of good things to come. So, when we were out looking at some baby stuff recently and came across this little bear with a ladybug on its chest, we had no other choice but to buy it.

P.S. For those of you wondering... still no LID, unfortunately. :-(

We're SOMEBODY now!

That's right... we're Group 142! We received a big travel orientation packet from our agency last week. It's always exciting to get something from them in the mail (it's the little things that keep us going). Anyway, included was a letter with our group number and a list of our travel mates w/ e-mail addresses and phone numbers... so now we can start getting to know one another. We haven't had time to go through everything else in our folder, but it sure looks like a lot of good information.

We are still waiting to hear what our LID (Log In Date) is. We're pretty sure we've already been logged in, it just seems to take a while for them to inform us of when it was.

A photo gallery is still in the works for the blog... so y'all come back now, ya hear!

Letter to CNN

To Whom It May Concern,

This e-mail is in regard to the Paula Zahn Now segment aired on 1/5/07 about China’s new adoption guidelines. My wife and I are an American couple in the process of adopting a little girl from China. It was appalling, to say the least, as we watched and listened to Ms. Zahn and her panel of “experts“, who seemingly had absolutely no knowledge about adoption, try to speculate as to why people were so "infatuated" with adopting little girls from China. The arrogance displayed by these people, to speak and make speculation on a subject about which they are clearly uneducated, is outrageous and has no place in the ranks of responsible journalism.

We shouldn't even dignify such inflammatory reports with response. At the same time, as soon-to-be adoptive parents, you don't want such misinformation to be the only source for people who were previously uninformed. You’ve attached a negative stigma to Chinese adoption and put a stain on adoption in general. Shame on you all.

Consider, first of all, how ridiculous it is to have someone (Ms. Maldonado) who apparently has anti-international adoption sentiments conduct a so-called study (with no claimed statistical support) and expect us to be surprised that she paints an unfavorable picture of adoption in China. To suggest that people who adopt from China are doing so because they think the children will be more intelligent, or more cute and cuddly is beyond words. Questioning the integrity of people’s motivation is an absolute slap in the face. And the idea that it has become en vogue because a few high-profile celebrities have adopted… insulting to the entire adoption community. Perhaps it would have made sense for CNN to ask families who have actually adopted from China the question “why”. I’m positive you would find that most families would say that for one, it’s because China has an established, stable and predictable program.

Put yourself in the shoes and in the heart of these adoptive parents (not to mention the children who wait in orphanages). Go with them step-by-step through the intense process and talk to them about the emotional and mental toll that it takes - the uncertainty and the fear that they feel…. And then tell me that it's because it’s fashionable and they want to have a cute little "porcelain doll" that will grow up to be a doctor. It’s “reporting” like this that keeps these stereotypes alive and well. By the way, how did talking about new regulations in Chinese adoption turn into a discussion about racism and stereotypes anyway?

I know there are going to be those CNN apologists who say that it's their job to spark debates such as this. Afterall, controversy sells… right? True perhaps, but shameful nonetheless. I believe that when you do have a debate, both sides should be fairly and equally represented. It should be about integrity. I have no respect for a news program that intentionally starts fires and stirs controversy with one-sided debates based purely, not on facts, but speculation.... obviously subscribing to the theory that any publicity is good publicity.

I don’t know if any news channel is really “fair and balanced“, but I’ll tell you one thing… it’s not CNN. You just lost a viewer. Good-bye Paula... Good riddance CNN.

Greg S.
Springfield, MO